Welcome back to Mental Health Mondays with FCF!
Today we'll be discussing worthiness and the effects of worth on our levels of productivity.
Let me ask you this: have you ever felt insecure in a job or project because you aren't sure what you bring to the table? Do you ever feel like maybe you aren't cut out for something even though your resume says you definitely are? Maybe you're even overqualified for it, but you still hold on to feelings of insecurity? Have you even been so initially excited by a project that you couldn't wait to start, only to find yourself pulling back once the project became more tangible?
If you answered yes to any of the above questions, then you, my friend, don't know your own worth.
When we talk about a person's worth, we don't mean the money in their bank account or the property they own. This is less about monetary assets and more about your assets as a human being.
Entrepreneurs, artists, and pretty much anyone that doesn't have an ego the size of the moon all suffer from insecurities that can sometimes hold us back from doing what we are supposed to do.
You're afraid. We get that. But everybody is afraid of something and nobody really knows what they're doing in life. You may think that an extra couple of classes or one more point on your resume will make feelings of unworthiness go away, but they won't. In fact, the longer you wait to confront those feelings, the bigger they will grow. And they'll start to negatively affect your life.
When we stop ourselves from achieving a goal because we feel that we just 'aren't ready yet', we are sabotaging ourselves before we can actually fail. Because failure is exactly what you believe will happen, right? Your mind automatically assumes the worst because you have been reenforcing a negative self-perception. And it hampers your ability to see the great things that may happen if you don't fail.
The opportunity presented might lead to a huge pay raise or a bump in client sales. It might be your big break or your long-awaited promotion. But when you second-guess your worth, what you are really saying to the universe, your friends, and yourself is that you don't value yourself enough to even take the chance that you might succeed. You may say that you aren't ready, but the underlying truth is that you don't believe in yourself.
And THAT is how you know with absolute certainty that you don't know your own worth.
Feeling unworthy of an opportunity, a partnership, or even just a one-off gig is not uncommon. There's a whole syndrome, Impostor Syndrome, related to it. And most of the people you meet in your professional life probably have it.
The thing about Impostor Syndrome is that it robs you of both your past accomplishments and your future achievements. It does this by paralyzing you with - you guessed it - fear of failure. You become afraid to try, afraid you'll be found out as a total fake. You worry that clients or coaches will realize that you've actually been faking it this whole time and your appearance as an adult is just that: an appearance.
In truth, you are probably totally capable of doing that new thing that scares the crap out of you. You are probably completely ready and equipped to handle new responsibilities that come your way. You just have to acknowledge that this feeling of unworthiness is totally common - we experience it pretty much every day - and fight the bastard off. Don't let fears of not being good enough stop you from claiming your right to try - and to succeed.
Because the reality is this: you are worthy.
You're worthy of every opportunity, every project, every job, everything that you could want. It's there for you, waiting for you to take it. If an employer or a brand or a client has done their homework and reached out to you, chances are that you're exactly what they need.
If you have trouble reaching beyond your Impostor Syndrome, many psychologists recommend journaling a list aspirations in the morning and acknowledgments at night.
So, basically, you'll feel extra silly every morning when you get up and tell yourself, "I am worthy," and even sillier in the evening when you say, "I did stuff today." But it does help. And so does hanging out with friends, treating yourself to something special now and then, or getting out into nature.
And even if no one acknowledges your hard work or your incredible talent, you still have value. You still have worth and a place in this world. Your value does not diminish every time a picture receives less likes on Instagram or a series you wrote doesn't go viral. Your value has nothing to do with exterior accolades. It has nothing to do with anyone but you.
And you are worthy.
You are worthy simply because you are a living, breathing human being with a heart and a brain and valid feelings that must be addressed for you to live a full, healthy life. You are worthy because you have ideas and valuable input and even if no one except you likes your ideas - you are still worthy. Because no one but you has those exact ideas in the exact way that you thought of them. Remember that there is no one like you on this planet. You are unique. You are supposed to be here. And you are worthy.
Don't let self-doubt hold you back from achieving the greatness that only you can accomplish. You can pretty much do anything you set your mind to if you just push fear aside for a minute. And fear is THE great inhibitor to productive creativity. So, don't let it control your future. Fight back!
For tips on escaping the perils of Impostor Syndrome, we've found three pretty great articles that describe the who, the what, the why, and the how:
Why 70% of Millennials Have Impostor Syndrome by Breena Kerr
How to Overcome Impostor Syndrome and Feeling Like a Fraud in 5 Easy Steps by Jonathan Chan
8 Practical Steps to Getting Over Your Impostor Syndrome by Mike San Roman
We'd love to hear stories of a time when self-doubt almost got the better of you, and what you did to work around it. Tell us all about it in the comments!