Let me ask you this: do you feel stuck? Have you been circling the drain of life for a while now, uncertain of your future and too scared to change your present?
I get that. I was like that once upon a time. It took some pretty massive changes that were outside of my control to force me to realize that only one thing is ever truly constant in life: change.
Change is the end-all, be-all of consistency. Isn't that just f*cking ironic? It isn't just the only constant, it's the only true method for improving your status quo. Change is the only thing that gets your body to move from stasis to straight up Fire Town. And yes, Fire Town is a real place. It's just off the coast of Miami (No, it isn't. Don't look for it, silly.).
If you want to move your ass from Sad Sack Village to Fire Town, the first step is to make a change. Change your mind about doing the thing that's keeping you stuck. Change your belief system - you know the one. Those voices in your head telling you that you aren't good enough, or that he/she doesn't love you, or you aren't strong enough to handle it - whatever it may be.
Because I've got news for you: you are, love yourself first, and YOU REALLY ARE THO.
It doesn't matter how talented someone is; it matters how persistent they are. It doesn't matter who loves you or not if you don't love yourself. (You should really listen to Lizzo's "Good As Hell" while you read this post.) And you are as strong as the fires that forge you, b*tch, so get that ass forged in some five-alarm fires and welcome to Fire Town.
A lot of people ask me things like, "But the money, tho?" or "I'm not ready yet?"
...Okay, so they really make those into statements. But those SHOULD be questions, because you're just asking for permission to do what you want in both cases.
You're probably thinking to yourself, how do I make an investment in my career, pay my rent, get out of debt, and live my dream life? In the next three months? LOL. And I'm just going to tell you now that you are not doing any of that in the next three months. You are going to take the time to allow the metals of your mind, the ones we've just begun to sculpt into something glorious, to take form and cool.
You see that!?! That's a brain sculpture we can be proud of! It's also how the brain processes music! Did you put on Lizzo's "Good As Hell" like I told you to?
If you are feeling like you just can't let go of the voices in your head that keep holding you back, maybe ask yourself the deeper questions. Why don't I trust myself? Why don't I believe in my own capacity to adapt? Why won't I allow myself to grow?
Did I fail once? Twice? Am I scared I'll fail again? Have I been rejected one too many times? Have I not allowed myself the time to heal? Have I bottled up negative feelings until they sickened my brain sculpture and made me forget my own strength?
Child, there is a light at the end of this tunnel.
If you've realized that some or all of these reasons apply to you, there is hope. In realizing the root cause of any issue, one can eventually find a solution. Talk to someone, a friend, a professional, a pet, a loved one, even a cockroach you see on the subway platform.
Get all of that bottled up nonsense out in the open and let it breathe. Let yourself breathe for a moment. Journal it out; write out your feelings until your hand cramps and your soul feels lighter.
Stop wasting time with people that make you feel less worthy or less important or less special than you are. Give up bad relationships that no longer serve you, and you will start to remember what a badass you have always been.
The remembering is key. We are all born to be badasses in one way or another. If you want to break out of your comfort zone, the first step is to remember who you really are. The world will try to tell you who you are, but it so rarely gets it right. It is far better to realize on your own who you are, who want to be, and what steps are right for you on your journey to your best self.
Only then will you finally be able to embrace what lies on the other side of your comfort zone: freedom.