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November 20, 2017

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ME, TOO

October 16, 2017

We lie to each other every day. 

 

"I am fine. I am happy. I am well."

 

We block our pasts from invading our futures.

 

"I don't remember that... Did he do that?... When did they do that?... I think I was 30... 22... 18... 15... 9... 7... 2 years old when it happened."

 

 

We tell ourselves that it's okay. Other people have had it worse. Other people suffered more. Our pain is not so great.

 

"I was lucky. I escaped. He only groped me. He only hit me once. He only touched me. He only catcalled me. He only whispered to me. He only." 

 

He. Her. They. This. That. It doesn't matter. Pain is not mitigated the moment greater pain exists in someone else. Hurt does not disappear when life transfers new trauma to new individuals. Wrongs are not right when more egregious crimes are committed against another. 

 

We all have stories, too many stories, to share with the world. But most of us cannot speak the truth of what has happened in our past. Most cannot utter the words that would make the memory real. And that is alright. It is not our place to ask survivors to come forward with their tales of woe. It is our duty to listen if and when they decide to speak. It is our duty to let others speak. Not to demand an end to their silence, but to provide an environment where they no longer have to hide.

 

Sometimes, you cannot listen only with the mind. You cannot logically assess another person's trauma. You can only open your heart and embrace their fear with love to ease the memories of a past they do not wish to recall. You can only give them support when they ask for it, and respect when they cannot respect themselves for the shame of what has been done to their bodies.

 

"Me, too."

 

When we say these words, we are reminded that almost everyone we know has experienced the pain of what's become a societal norm. We are reminded that we are not alone. We remember that life is more than the past we have survived or the future that awaits us. Life simply is. 

 

We are worthy because we are.

 

No one can take that worthiness away from us. 

 

"Me, too."

 

For those that have been unable to come forward until now, 

 

It is good to finally see you.

 

For those that are only just beginning to see the scope of the problem,

 

It is good to finally see you.

 

And for those that are too scared to come forward or too hurt or simply don't want to,

 

You are not alone.

 

"Me, too."

 

We see you. We see you. We love you.

 

Fat Love,

FatChix.

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